Having had to overcome challenges with imposter syndrome, I have learned a few things I wish I had known in my 20s and 30s that would have helped me be kinder to myself, have a positive self-image and therefore project myself to others as a powerful, capable leader. With the right strategy, you can internalize the five main things I learned to help you develop confidence and become your most powerful self.
Ignore or challenge biased feedback:
As an actress in my 20’s, I was told by a now-award-winning casting director that I appeared too ethnic and should consider a nose job (!!). Additionally, early in life was told I was too aggressive.
These types of messages can shape you or distract you if you listen. Good feedback can be very helpful. Biased feedback is not. Remember: The difference between being aggressive or bossy vs boss is gender. Bad feedback is more about them, not you.
Be selective about whose feedback you take into account. Trustworthy mentors, guides, peers and/or coaches will tell you the truth, and better yet help you discover your truth. But don’t let anyone’s perception affect your evolution negatively. Follow your instinct and try to understand where their feedback comes from and whether it can be enriching or detrimental to your process.
Be who you are:
As a 20-year-old, I was encouraged to keep my ideas and goals private as I thought that if people spoke about them, it would inhibit my achievements. It doesn’t. Just share with the right people. Not sharing my thoughts and plans meant I couldn’t ask for the insight I needed on certain projects and, consequently, slowed my process of accomplishing my objectives.
Don’t be afraid to be bold and put forth who you are! The world will tell you to be quiet and small, and not to take up space. Discard outdated ideas without judgment, don’t fight them. Fighting something keeps you in relation to it. Work actively on detaching and letting it go.
Allow yourself to make mistakes:
I used to try not to make mistakes in an attempt to be perfect, however, I now see mistakes as necessary for rapid growth.
Mistakes mean you are working towards a worthy goal and taking steps to reach it. You could envision “mistakes” as helpful detours that point you in a different direction with fewer obstacles instead of a hindrance. Once you recognize you have made a mistake, allow yourself to acknowledge how far you’ve come, and don’t forget to celebrate and internalize your successes.
Be creative:
In my previous role in theater administration, I worked long hard hours to do whatever it takes to bring success, the show must go on after all! But it also leads to burnout.
Be creative in how you work smarter, not harder. If you don’t allow yourself time to rest, the world is still molding you, and you prevent yourself from hearing the creative, innovative voice inside you. Be a thought leader in all you do. Where can you “buy back time” after working long hours?
Develop an enriching inner narrative:
This one goes hand in hand with listening to the voice inside you. Set yourself clear intentions, and affirm them to amplify your abilities and gifts. Invest time in yourself and look for opportunities that allow you to stay aligned, feeding your positive inner narrative. For those gaps you feel you need to fill in your narrative, seek positive mentors that can guide you on your path.
Bonus: Manage your financial wealth including student debt payment
I received a merit scholarship for college, but still ended up owing a large sum, which can be overwhelming for most of us. There are grants, scholarships, funding partnerships and the SBA, which can allow you to receive training, travel, and start new chapters in your life while also building financial wealth.
If you live in the U.S., you will probably have to pay for student loans in your 20’s. Don’t despair; pay them back slowly! Allow yourself to enjoy some of your income during these early years, travel, try new things, and invest in experiences that make you happy. After all, happiness may be one of the few things you can take with you.
I specialize in empowering women leaders to do the work they love. As one client wrote, “You made me believe the impossible is possible”. Women are unstoppable when they innovate, influence, and collaborate while using their own authentic style. I can help you achieve your next level without imposter syndrome getting in the way.
You can connect with me at [email protected]
